I’m sick of the slams against kids by dog lovers. You’ve likely seen their sarcastic jabs and warped logic in the form of bumper stickers and forwarded jokes. “Dogs are better than kids because dogs don’t talk back. Or borrow money. Or require college tution. Or play the stereo loud.” Their dogs are also smarter than your honor student. Several mainstream mail order catalogs offer pro-dog, anti-child (or anti-people) T-shirts: “My dog makes me happy. You, not so much.”, “My
favorite child has fur and four legs.” “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” Dogs are much more likely to be compared to children than are other types of pets, so naturally dogs will be the focus of my backlash. Now, I don’t have children myself, but I will defend them against dogs and their besotted fans every time. Thus:
1. Kids are the future of your country. Dogs are not.
2. Traditions and values can be passed down to kids.
3. Kids say “I love you” for real, unlike the farcical mutt vocalizations dog owners mistake for actual speech.
4. Kids can laugh at your jokes.
5. Kids grow up to become productive members of society; dogs grow up to be the same butt-scooting, turd-eating, mindless barking scavenger animal they always were.
6. Kids don’t regard the yard as a pooping zone.
7. Kids don’t mistake fire hydrants for trees.
8 Kids don’t bark at the mail carrier.
9. Kids can care for you in your elderlyyears.
10. Kids are our genetic legacy.
11.Kids have boundless imaginations.
12. You can play chess with kids.
13. Kids/people have the most complex brain in the known universe.
14. Kids go to college as students, dogs go as laboratory specimens.
15. WE WERE ALL KIDS ONCE!
As for dogs not doing the following annoying things, the money borrowing, the loud music playing, the back talking, well guess what? Dogs can’t fathom money at all. Dogs don’t know what a stereo IS. Dogs can’t talk, let alone question authority. To give dogs credit for not doing things they can’t even think about in the first place is junk logic at its worst. What about dogs being happier to see you than your spouse or children are? That’s nothing but mindless pack instinct. If you need a fawning groveling domesticated pack animal (selectively bred to exhibit these behaviors) in order to boost your esteem, something is wrong. Dogs are the path of least resistance. Children challenge us. Challenge is a GOOD thing.
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{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }
I love that train of thought! I adore kids. Dogs just make me mad.
and kids grow up with a warped sense of reality if they grow up without a dog for a pet. all the mean spirited dirtbags i ever met never owned a dog as a child
I think you are on the wrong site. THIS IS A DOG HATER SITE.
Please go elsewhere.
What a load of garbage, doug dinsdale. I didn’t have a dog growing up and I turned out perfecttly well adjusted and with a very firm grip on reality. I never wanted a dog. I’ve never been FOOLED by dogs. Are you aware that there are “mean spirited dirtbags” who had dogs in childhood? You are deep into the dog cult, huh.
Brooklyn is home to hundreds of thousands of mean spirited dirtbags. Many own mean spirited mutts. Many mean spirited dirtbags have their mean spirited mutts fight for sport, with spectators betting.
Are you serious??? Human beings who don’t keep dogs are bad by default??? Human beings who don’t keep dogs can invest that extra time and money in human beings, who have far more potential and will do far more good for society than any pet ever will. Also a human being will look after himself/herself, and clean himself/herself!
doug dinsdale, you want to discuss in a rational way? FINE.
Are you aware that dogs have become AS HARMFUL AS RATS, if not worse?
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Humans are harsh against rats, but allow dogs to provoke far more problems in cities
-Noise contamination.- Barking dogs, provoke long term disease due to altered night sleep (basic common sense, you need uninterrupted sleep to get into REM, barking dogs are one of the top causes of such interruptions, even if they don’t wake you up, they still interrupt the cycle), rats don’t bring such problem.
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- Dirt and parasites.- I don’t know in per capita basis, but as a whole, sure dogs pollute more the parks and streets than rats, in modern world.
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- Car accidents.- How many car accidents are provoked by rats? Not sure in the US, but in other countries I lived, dogs provoke a lot of fatal (for several humans) car accidents when they cross streets and drivers try to avoid them.
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- Direct attacks.- Again, dogs win the rats here.
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In modern world, rats diseases are sucesfully treated with modern medication, and they’re still a problem yes, but if you analize in a cold, rational way, dogs provoke more problems.
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So please, COMMENT ON THESE issues.
My parents, good Catholics, had 8 kids. How the hell were they supposed to afford a dog? In addition to paying for food, clothing, shoes, medical care, toys, school tuition and supplies, etc. ; my dear old dad “had a problem with the drink”, and liked to “feed the ponies”(bet on them). He usually came home “drunk as a lord”. The booze he drank cost money. To save money, he kept the house “cold as a witch’s tit” during the winter. He also bought cigarettes, and later, he switched to cigars. I’m sure the saloon keeper and bartender could afford a mutt. But this family couldn’t. So what? The houses we lived in were crowded enough without a mutt. My mother had enough work to do, caring for a family with 8 kids, without the burden of a shithound. The family sure as hell did not need another mouth to feed. With 8 kids, my mother had enough dirt and shit to clean up without a useless mutt.
lol…finally an article of truth! Dogs are nothing! I think people who own dogs have nothing to do in life except waste and throw out there money on animals…children are our legacy and human children are everything…hello we all once were children too, and don’t compare animals to children, because i will gladly kick a dog in the face if it pisses me off, but i would never do that to my child! Because i know the difference, dogs are nothing but butt sniffing animals…and well children grow up to be adults and are human beings!
another future fellon kicking a stupid animal make you feel superior? thats what America is about feeling superior lets all kick dogs while we wave those flags.
As someone said; ‘it takes a certain kind of person to enjoy the constant up your ass attention a dog provides’. If your best friend is a dog you really need to get a life.
i have a best friend and he has a dog too
Good list. And then there’s the dog people who believe dogs are EQUAL to kids. So they either regard dogs as better than kids or equal to kids, but never lower than kids.
then there are those who understand the pack and make sure the children are kept at the top so the dog knows it’s place
Kids vs. dogs. I detest dogs. Kids can at least learn to wipe their
own ass, be toilet trained, go to school, get a job, and make a
life for themselves. Dogs are simply useless stinking creatures
and I really do not understand why people so adore them???
have you been out of the house? there are alot of people out there who don’t know how to wipe their own ass or get a job and with this economy makin a life is becomming a thing of the past.
dogs become real useful around the time you get to have your first home invasion by those great kids making a life for themselves. watch the news
That’s what security systems are for. I was robbed blind with three dogs in the building. most likely the perpetrator was an acquantance of the crackhead dog owner upstairs who was passed out on pain pills when the robbery occurred.
Excellent article Paul so true, I liked the part about “if you need a fawning grovelling domesticated pack animal (selectively bred to exhibit these behaviours) in order to boost your esteem, something is wrong. Dogs are the path of least resistance.” That reminded me of a dog worshipper I once knew who had a dog that did n’t quite deliver the required amount of fawning & grovelling so she sold it to someone else & got another one that did. The point is if your kids don’t do exactly what you want all the time you can’t just swop them for ones that do. I think that’s why they own dogs.
no we own them so our children grow up well adjusted members of society unlike dog haters
Doug I don’t know where you get this idea from? can you show us a case where this causation has been proven even circumstantially?
Also, a dog hater is just a normal person who has been driven to hate dogs because of experiences with irresponsible dog owners. When I lived with my brother I really liked his dog and withing a year I was living with an irresponsible dog owner and realized how pathetic and annoying this creature can be.
Hi everybody, my name’s Lucien, and I just want to say I’m thoroughly enjoying these articles and comments. If I could meet you each personally to shake your hands, I would! I truly hate dogs. I see them everywhere, every day, and hear them throughout the night, every night. I use a wheelchair 24 hours a day and boy let me tell you about 2/3 of all dogs I’ve ever met are confused and threatened by it. Their urine and feces get on my wheels, which are pushed all day by my bare hands. I get barked at, bulrushed, drooled upon, ambushed, knocked off balance, and generally harassed by those parasitic biohazards. Their semi-retarded handlers think it’s cute. But I want to start carrying pepper spray in a holster!
Other domesticated animals do plenty of annoying things too, but in the case of dogs it’s just gotten out of control, the population is just TOO HIGH. Mass dog sterilization would be my official suggestion, as it seems to me the least violent solution. About 10% of the time I actually meet a dog or dog owner I could respect, and the rest of the time it’s basically the demented luxury item of virtually oblivious sociopath. From an ecological standpoint, can anybody suggest the pros and cons of dog extinction? That could be an interesting topic of discussion!
Warm regards to all of you, from North Carolina.
Lucien
WELCOME Lucien, from North Carolina to “our group.” Yes, they are a nuisance and more. I can only see “pros” in dog extinction and nothing will change my mind.
Thank you! Nor mine.
On your whelchair wheels! Ah, shit! You and your friends should push for laws for a Dog DNA Database. Every dog born, every dog owned or brought into America, has its’ DNA entered into a database. Then, if the keepers of these shit factories don’t pick up, or lick up, their mutts’ filth, a sample can be analyzed, identified. Then the slobs can be heavily fined. Repeat offenders can have their mutt licenses revoked. You shouldn’t have to put up with this shit. No one should.
Good idea! I agree, no one should.
noone should but once again OWNERS are the problem.
wow…sorry you have to go through that…i would suggest carrying hot sauce and vapor vicks rub with bleach and spraying it in the dogs eyes! Trust me you are in a wheel chair…its called self defense!
Thank you for the suggestion. What proportion hot sauce, to vapor rub, to bleach? And what sort of container/sprayer?
Hi Lucien..sorry didn’t see your comment,
I would use a little water gun. I was also talking to my local police and they told me that pepper spray is illegal BUT BEAR SPRAY IS NOT! they told me I AM ALLOWED TO CARRY BEAR SPRAY…they were feeling sorry for me, even the police were on my side for self defense against dogs, because they are so annoying! But if i were you i would go and purchase some bear spray and keep it with you, anytime you see a dog comming up to you grab it and spray aiming for the dogs eyes! But for the bleach and hot sauce i would use a windex spray bottle, and small spray bottle so its easier to clean…tabasco sauce or any really hot sauce you can find on the market. Try those things…but remember you would have to clean the spray bottles etc.. weekly for mold if they aren’t used…so bear spray is best, but if you know a dog…that you want to attack cause its causing you hell…go and spray that dog! Good luck…you should join us on the other discussion pages!
**COMMENT DELETED**
**Future comments from this person have been blocked** – Sheldon.
Dear Lucien, It is wonderful to have you on this site. It is possible that you can wear some “disposable” gloves? When my daughter was a baby we lived in New York and I took her out daily in a big English Pram with rubber wheels. Each day before bringing in the pram to the apartment I parked it outside the door and “washed the wheels” thoroughly. If I lived hear you I would be happy to wash your wheelchair wheels. I too am a “dog hater” – big time~!
That’s a nice idea, and a very kind offer. Thank you! Oh, I don’t blame you for washing those pram wheels. Honestly it just feels good to vent my frustrations. Dog owners just act like they run the show and it ticks me off! They seem to consider non-dog owners as second class.
Hi Lucien, great to know of another dog hater! And with a new perspective on these overrated, coddled, dirty, neurotic”pets”. Dogs are cut too much slack. Agreed, there are way too many dogs, with new litters being pumped out constantly by backyard breeders. I saw a classified ad the other day selling bulldogs for $3,500 each!
One of the things I’d do, if given access to a time machine, would be to prevent the domestication of the wolf. Dog extinction is a good topic idea. I can’t think of a single negative impact!
nah, dogs were quite useful to our preindustrial ancestors for work. Most of these breeds are well behaved to this day. It’s the modern dog owners that have dogs as companions who are not responsible enough to train them who are the problem. Today, I wouldn’t mind if all dogs died besides shepherd breeds who we may need in a post industrial society. Some disabled people also find it useful to have a very well trained dog. I agree though there are too many. Dog obsession is a psychological human problem. Of course the dogs end up crazy too because we are forcing them to live in ways they weren’t meant to.
hey lucien get some gloves and some friends who train thier dogs right
Lucien, if I lived near you, I’d clean your wheels before you came into your house. When my daughter was a baby we lived in New York City and I would bring the big British pram to our front door and then proceed to wash the big rubber wheels. Still remember how to do it!!!!!!
Lol it’s so funny u take this so seriously. It’s called SARCASM, ever heard of it?
OK, but where’s the sarcastic part, exactly?
lol,,,lucien…don’t listen to the trolls here..wolfgirl is a dog lover and i and many believe she is also using the names lily, amanda, wokeupthismorning etc..could be all one person! I already contacted the admin person…TO DELETE ALL DOG LOVING POSTS! so now its up to the admin people to delete all the dog lovers postings…so it will teach them their typing is just a waste of time…Wolfgirl…is married to her ugly beast dog. lol.
I wonder why “wolfgirl” doesnt use “DogGirl” as a name. Maybe because even she realizes it’s an insult for a woman to be called a dog!
lol…yea! ahahaa! its true..she’s a doggirl. A dog! If you think about it, you can’t insult someone calling them a cat, or even a donkey..is not as bad…the minute you call someone a dog its an insult…example shut up you dog! YOu have a dog face…see how mean that is!
So true. Too bad a dog is one of the 12 animals in the Chinese Zodiac. They should delete the dog and replace it with a panda bear.
and the rest of the time it’s basically the demented luxury item of virtually oblivious sociopath
I couldn’t agree more. Everytime I hear or read someone saying dogs are better than children it shakes me deeply. I worry for the future of the human race for a variety of reasons but the slow and steady turning to dogs for love/socialization by people that I see around me is the most worrisome. It’s like some kind of bad dream and if I couldn’t read other people worrying about it too I’d feel like I’d gone completely insane. It’s like giving up. “Path of least resistance’ is a great way of putting it
Oh, dear. “Dogs are better than children.” Rather sickening, eh? I never would have a dog in my home — all white house, you know. But we had one daughter. She was/is a delight. Raised without religion or prejudice, and never spanked nor hit. She was a “baby model” and although she only did a couple of commercials, she made lots of money which was hers to keep (when she got older). She went to Oxford, has a great marriage and does not want children. Works at a magazine as an Assistant to the Editor. I could never imagine a DOG(?) being better than this great daughter of ours. Sorry to brag!!!!!
Paul: Doug is gone. Finished. Erased. Peace to us.
Good riddance to him! His assertions were ludicrous.
I actually used to like dogs when I was younger.. but anymore they just piss me off. I had to live with my husbands parents who owned 3 mini poodles. Never again. I can’t stand dogs anymore. I honestly don’t even think dogs are cute either. I prefer cats and kids 100%. Cats aren’t in your face 24/7 and they don’t eat or roll in crap.
Dogs are plain neurotic looking, most of them. The Westminster dog show is this Monday and Tuesday (a dog show on Valentine’s day… makes sense, since so many dog lovers regard their dog as a soul mate). A freak show pageant of mutated wolves.
So, mutated wolves? Thinking in this regard, aren’t we just mutated monkeys?
No, because we cannot interbreed with monkeys or apes. Wolves and dogs however CAN and DO interbreed with each other, resulting in fertile offspring. Dogs are classified as a domesticated wolf, and are of the same species as the wolf. Canis lupus familiarus. The familiar wolf; aka, the mutated wolf, lobotomized wolf, or dumbed-down wolf.
Dogs will bite children. My grandson has been bitten twice by neighbor dogs that came into his yard. He was promised that the dogs wouldn’t hurt a flea and he never bothered them. It angers me how defensive people are about their dogs. I don’t have dogs by choice. They stink, try to lick you in the mouth, have sex infront of the world, ride in cars , which can cause an accident because of their distraction.
Dog lovers are notorious for being in denial about their dog’s potential for biting. They assume the dog is an extension of themselves and thinks the same way they do. So many dog lovers wind up in court after their dog has bitten a person or another dog, and they almost always lose.