“Boo”, dubbed the world’s cutest dog, has its own book, a waste of trees consisting of full page photos showing the dorky looking dog, a mutated pomeranian with bear-like ears, posing in sappy scenes. It’s hard not to notice the glut of dog photo books, dog care books and dog memoirs. The memoirs have become a publishing fad, with every Tom Dick and Harry thinking their dog is the bestest dog in the whole wide world, warranting a full blown tribute tome.
Ever since the mega-lame Marley and Me became a best
seller, dog books have been breeding out of control. Most of them feature a big photo of the dog’s head on the cover, with the name of the animal in the title, paired with a barf-inducing subtitle crediting the dog with teaching the author how to love, live, be a parent, deal with depression, or even ponder the universe itself. The authors learn all this from watching their mutt sniff rears, chew up sticks, and scarf down turds? At least two authors apparently learned the Meaning of Life from walking their dog, while several women authors describe their near-romantic relationships with dogs, prefering in theory to marry or date their dog rather than men. I’ve read quite a few dog memoirs, just for the barf-factor, and enjoy skipping to the end for the best part: when the dog dies. Rescuing Sprite, Walking Ollie, Merle’s Door, Huck, Wally, George….all blend together into a nauseating mix of dog worship crap, all spouting the same nonsense about dogs “being there for you”, “loving unconditionally”, “serving as a substitute child”, “more spiritually aware than humans”, blah blah blah.
And then there are the dog care books. Dozens of new ones published every week it seems. How much more can be written about housebreaking a puppy, or feeding old dogs?
However,there is a dog book that needs to be written. One that is anti-dog. The Truth About Dogs is as close as the idea gets, but the author claims to love dogs, so obviously the book doesn’t go far enough. No, it must be so thoroughly dog hating in tone, it will leave no doubt about why these coddled neurotic wolves don’t belong in society, let alone pampered and worshiped.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
“Why I hate dogs” would be a great book. I’d have to have pictures of dog mauled people in it: http://www.dogsbite.org/
I think I’d have to subtitle it “And why their owners are just as bad”
LOL or zombie dog owners and print the multitude of photos one could take just walking the streets from 4pm to 6pm of people walking 20 feet behind their filthy mutts carrying bags of shit. It’s insane… just hoards of dog zombies…
How about photos of slobs leaving it on the damn sidewalk? Many sneak out late to leave a midnight snack for the flies.
Just found this site by typing in “I hate dogs” in Google. I’m a closeted dog hater. Actually, I think I despise the owners the most. It’s because of them and their narcissistic vanity that these smelly creatures are everywhere! Dog owners are disrespectful, egotistical little dictators. They don’t have to work on themselves, because they’ve bought a groveling little thing that helps them fool themselves into believing they are worthy of love just the way they are. They’re not.
Mirina, that’s the truth alright! They get such an attitude. Even their dogs seem to strut around with a smug entitled look.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/229152060471184/?ref=ts
join my group and add pictures etc.. I hate dogs so much.
Dog are awesome. You are not. You have 5 pictures of dogs and the first ones funny. The rest are messed up and not true examples of real dogs. And those are only 5dogs out of the millions in this world. have a nice day
Dogs are the opposite of awesome. Dogs are pathetic, poop-loving, subservient brown nosers at best, and dangerous biters at worst.
Oh just get the fuck out.
Most dogs are disgusting and gross, sorry to say..not just 5 dogs but every dog that licks its privates. And since dogs can’t be bathed often and dog health care bills are expensive..dog care is probably not a priority for dog owners, who delude themselves that their dog is somehow healthy and their mouth “cleaner than humans”.
I just signed up for FB. Looking forward to joining your group, S!
There’s a new dog memoir book out, by the editor of the New York Times (what is it about journalists wanting to pen books about their dog?) called The Puppy Diaries. The author, who has two adult children, writes, “I had forgotten how much having a new puppy is like having a new baby.” WTF!!
The writer of the book is insane! How can they compare a puppy to a baby???
Insanely funny original post! I agree with every word. And I must add, when I log into Facebook I am not interested in seeing photo albums of your dogs! How many photos can you upload of the same furry creature (I’ve seen people upload albums with 50 pictures of just their dog, dog’s kennel..)? For some people, an update on their life on Facebook involves their dogs and dogs’ pictures to a huge extent.
When a newspaper is used to clean up mutt shit, it obviously can’t be recycled. How’s that for a waste of trees. It must go into a landfill. At public expense. or be incinerated. Recycling paper not only saves trees and paper. It also saves energy. Less money for imported oil. Affluence, not poverty, breeds terrorism. Terrorism is the fury and bloodlust of the educated and overprivileged. Less mutts. Less shity newspapers in the incinerator or landfill. More recycling of paper. More energy, and money , saved. Less money in the bank accounts of Wahabbii Saudis.
People in my community take their “dogs for a walk” after dark. No flash light. Just let them do whatever they do wherever they want.
I have a vision of a human brigade doing the same thing. How sickening would that be. Don’t ask!
Roses has it right…
Just “STFU” about your damn dog, I don’t want to see it, smell it, hear about it or see photos…I’m not interested so don’t talk about it again, OK?…
The Rest of the Story: Although it has only been about three weeks since Dyer was bitten on the face by Max, the 85-pound Argentine mastiff dog, it has been a long journey back for Dyer who has had two reconstructive surgeries, a skin graft, 90 stitches and nearly two weeks with her mouth sewn shut, The Denver Post reported.
It’s a serious accident that has changed the course of her life and career. Dyer’s injury may never fully heal. She told 9News last week that it could be “six months, or never” to get the feeling back. And she has not made any immediate decisions on when she will return to to the air, but she says she will return.
“This has been such a really positive experience for me. Just the way people have made me feel so loved, I know everything will be okay and I’ll be back,” Dyer said during an at-home segment of her “Today” show interview.
The damn dog caused all that damage with just a split second bite. Only a dog cultist could twist it into a positive experience. I guess she’s glad the dog bit her. Gee, I hope I also get bitten on the face by a dog.
On the dog book front, “Uggie” the dog which “stole the show” in the Oscar-winning film The Artist, is getting a book deal. The fad within a fad now seems to be dog memoir books being written before the dog dies. There’s also a book out on the world’s largest dog, Giant George, currently alive and well. Several other dog books have been published after the dog turned one year old. These “my dog’s first year” books are the lamest of them all.
There goes the highlight of this genre, flipping to the end to see how the dog died.
If copies of these stupid books survive into the future, archeologists and historians will know that Americans, faced with their decaying civilization under attack from outside and inside, wasted their time reading about pointless shithounds. Many are functionally illiterate; which is discouraging. But when those that can read, read about stupid, pointless animals that serve no useful purpose, only foul the environment and waste resouces and money, that is not a hopeful sign for this country. Preoccupation with worthless animals, when your civilization’s survival is in inquestion, means people can’t, or won’t, figure out what is really important.
James: “The dumbing down of America.” College has become so expensive many families cannot afford it (maybe too many kids?)
But, survival is at issue here. Some people can READ, but just can’t comprehend. Shithounds be gone!!!!