Pit Nuttery

Pit bull owners are a special subcategory of dog owners. They are often extremists and hard core bully breed evangelists, promoting pit bull myths such as , “Its how they are raised”.  Another favorite is that a pit bull dog cannot be identified. This tactic is intended to squash Breed Specific Legislation, because if you can’t ID it, you can’t create a law restricting it.

DEATH BY DOG: A Human Rights Abuse

death-by-dogDogs, especially bully breeds, are responsible for the murder/attempted murder of humans every year at an alarming rate.  Killer dogs are even assigned their own defense attorneys with the help of dog apologists. They are often sent to dog rescues where they are recycled and destined to kill again.

 

Why is this practice acceptable in a society considered to be humane; in a culture where the “rights” of a dog exceed those of an innocent child?

Dog apologists think this is okay because,  in a nutshell, “Dogs are just doing what dogs do”.

Tell us what you think?

 

Mickey the Pit Bull, aka Mickey the Mauler

Feel free to say it here since your comments will be deleted if you go on the “Save Mickey” site. In spite of little Kevin Vicente suffering unconscionable damage for life and his parent being blamed,  pit extremists are still advocating for children and pit bulls. Mickey the Mauler is being keep alive by Sheriff Joe Arpaio   who is a well known racist, Mexican hater and corrupt official.

Why DOG OWNERS Are The Abusers Of Dogs

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It is so laughable that dog cultists imagine we are dog abusers when the truth is, DOG OWNERS routinely neglect, torture, starve, abuse and kill dogs. One has only to read the news or turn on the TV to learn how DOG OWNERS are the perpetrators of these abuses. The reason is simple. You must first own and hold captive a fur slave in order to abuse it. We hate dogs and  strive to be far, far away from them. DOG OWNERS on the other hand have ready access to the animals they abuse. We do not advocate violence towards dogs. Dog owners have that covered!

So the next time, a dog cultist  spews hatred on you for not wanting contact with their  beasts, remind them of this fact and perhaps a ready example.

 

I Hate My Dog!

DOG LEASHclapping man

Are you stuck with a dog you hate?

  • Did you mistakenly get a dog or reside with a dog, through no fault of your own?
  • Have you fallen for the myth that you need a dog to be “happier”?
  • Is your mutt a money pit promoted by the pet product industry?

Share your stories.  (click on Orson Wells and he will applaud you !     : )

 

You have our most sincere sympathies.

 

The Humanization of Dogs

Listen to this dog cultist discuss being attacked by her own dog on Youtube. The woman is attacked by her dog and requires 300 stitches. She says the dog was her “baby” and never showed signs of aggression. (Gee that’s a new one) The woman actually imagines that her dog attacked her because she said, “Mommy can’t take you today” . The level of denial and sheer stupidity is almost pathological. I just dont understand these people.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7tg_qLCER8

Crazy Dog Logic

http://hot1079philly.com/2997422/woman-has-sex-with-pitbull

“Las Vegas police were called to the home of a 23-year-old woman earlier this week after her neighbors complained that she was having sex with a pit bull, according to published reports.”

Things I just don’t get: People have humanized dogs to the point where they have play dates, dog apparel, dog strollers, gourmet and organic food, dog furniture and special parks just for dogs. They have funerals, cemeteries and health insurance. People want to take their dogs in retail stores, hotels, on regular passenger airplanes and even to work. They are perceived by dog advocates as part of the family. One advocate wanted taxpayers (even those without dogs) to pay for dog feces stations because dogs are “part of the community” and since people without children have to pay for schools then it follows that people without dogs should pay for poop stations. Dogs are on the fast track to becoming humans. So then why is it any surprise that dog people might also want sex with their dog? Why is this activity off limits for the dog folks when dogs are perceived as being entitled to just about everything humans enjoy.

Dog advocates tell us over and over how intelligent dogs are. And they argue that dogs are capable of complex emotions like jealousy, revenge, and compassion (check out therapy dogs). The woman in the article was deemed mentally challenged either by disability or use of drugs. Clearly the dog was smarter than her. Wasn’t he therefore exploiting her? Was he abusing her on an ongoing basis? Since the dog was a pit bull it doesn’t seem plausible that the dog was “forced” to have sex. So did the dog rape the woman? The US Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that 91% of rape victims are females. Yep, she was female. Was this a date rape? Date rape is also called a drug-facilitated sexual assault or acquaintance rape. She may have been on drugs and seemed to know her perpetrator. Dog people say that dogs should be allowed to bark because this is how they communicate. If the dog didn’t want to participate couldn’t he have “Just Barked NO!”? If the dog is found guilty will it have to serve time, do community service or register as a sex offender especially since the woman was disabled? I wonder if the dog loves her unconditionally or was he just using her for sex.

“Comfort Dogs”

I sure hope I never have to be”comforted” by a disaster dog! That would be insult to injury if I were in a stressful situation. And reading to dogs is a load of nonsense. Dogs are incapable of nodding,agreeing,showing interest,commenting or otherwise contributing any positive reinforcement for a young reader. My grandson is smarter than that and guess what dog crazies, he doesnt like dogs! What about the kids who are allergic to dog dander. Sounds like a bad day at school to me. They sure as hell better not bring in any pit bulls.

Dog Facts

The BBC reported last August that dog bites are on the rise. Last year 6450 people sustained dog bites. Those affected the worse by dog bites are children under 10 years old. 75% of children under 10 years old reguired surgery as a result of dog bites.

Phony service dog encounter

no dogsToday while at a certain Big Box store that starts with “W’, I see a parade of three large dogs being led across the main aisle. A Siberian husky, a big rust-colored hunting dog, and a mutt, which was wearing an obviously fake service vest, being walked by a family of three, a mother , father, and boy aged about 7, none of whom were disabled in any way shape or
form. Naturally I said something snide. “What the….hey, this isn’t a dog park!!”. They didn’t hear me, but a nearby customer did. He approached, explaining the dogs were service dogs in training. I replied, “Yeah right. similar domains You might be duped by that, but I’m not”. He was taken aback for a split second but said, “They have a vest”. I told him the vest was likely phony, that dog owners pull this ruse all the time. He walked off, calling me a moron.

This goes to show how indoctrinated into dog worship society has become. People now have a knee jerk belief, blind faith, that any dog in a store is a “service dog”. It never crosses their mind that maybe, just maybe, dog owners are pulling a fast one. In fact, I’d say that 98% of dogs brought into stores, restaurants, etc. Singnotonpstarac . are NOT service/therapy dogs. Vests can be hand-made, phony ID badges can be bought on-line, owners can fake a disability, though most don’t bother.

Even real service dogs, certified, doctor recommended, the whole nine yards, aren’t exactly necessary. Without opposable thumbs and a three pound brain, there’s not a whole lot a dog can do for a disabled person at a store. A dog can’t drive to the store, can’t reach up and grab a jar of mayonaise off the shelf, can’t pull out a wallet and swipe a credit card, enter pin numbers and a signature, can’t load groceries into the trunk…can’t put batteries into a flashlight, can’t cook dinner,…. so much a dog cannot do.

As I was leaving the store, a woman entered, carrying a Jack Russel terrier in her arms. I suppose the sucker who called me a moron believes the terrier was a “comfort dog”.

TIME Magazine promotes pit bulls

Current issue of Time Magazine, week of July 22, 2013, has a three-page article, “The Softer Side of Pit Bulls”. Even before reading it I knew it would mention “Petey” from the Little Rascals TV show. Pit Bull fanatics love to trot out Petey as their pit bull ambassador; they do it all the time. Inouthdeyglycir The article is a classic case of having cake and wanting to eat it too. These pit nuts want the dogs to be seen as a distinct breed, a family friendly breed, then in the same breath imply it’s unfair to stereotype a breed. Gee, only if the stereotype is negative, huh. The next time a pit bull mauls someone to death (give it about a week), Time magazine will have blood on its hands for promoting the most dangerous breed today as family friendly. Send a letter to the editor, letters@time.com, to point out pit bulls deserve their bad image.

Puppy Bowl farce seen as news by NBC Nightly News

NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams teased with a story about a bowl game. No, not THAT bowl game, but rather, the Puppy Bowl, which will air on Animal Planet at the same time as the Super Bowl. Can a contrast in Neilson ratings get any wider? The football game (and all the pricey commercials) will sweep the floor with the damn little
mutts. But for some bizarre reason (oh wait, NBC News is run by dog cultists), Brian Williams decided to plug the 9th annual Puppy Bowl. If you are so motivated, as I was, please e-mail NBC Nightly News, to lament the dumbing down of their program yet again by the most ridiculous dog coverage imaginable. Yesterday they reported on the most popular dog breeds. How is this even close to newsworthy??

The Puppy Bowl was taped five months ago, but most dog nuts will think it’s being aired live, which is why they’ve already been putting in requests to adopt the dogs. They think they’ll be getting the puppy-aged cur as seen on the show, but it’ll be near-adult in reality. Suckers. So much for advice to spay/neuter, when litters of dogs are glorified on the national news.

Also of note is that NBC Nightly News is loathe to report on anything negative about dogs. Packs of dangerous feral dogs are menacing people in Mexico. A pit bill mauls a baby to death. Not newsworthy to NBC. They’d rather report on “murderous” cats that are killing birds.

E-mail: Nightly@nbc.com

Apps to annoy dogs

Dogs annoy us, so why not annoy them? If you have an iPhone or other app-able mobile device, numerous sound files are available for download, many of which are free, and capable of bugging dogs:

* High Frequency– High-pitched tones and whistles to distract dogs.

* Thunder– Dogs are commonly freaked out by rumbling thunder and thunder claps. Crank up the volume and scare the heck out of an unsuspecting slobber-bag!

* Werewolf sound effects– wolf howls and growls as well as movie-type werewolf attack noises. Use to startle dogs (as well as their owners). Play after dark along a quiet neighborhood street!

* Canine barking and snarls– Intimidate dogs with recordings of their own menacing foes. Vicious guard dog barks and throaty growls ought to alarm coddled frou frou dogs.

* Doorbell chimes, ringing phone, squeak toy, etc.– Stimulus overload. Make fools out of stimulus response-addicted neurotic mutts!

* Police and ambulance sirens– Contrary to popular belief, vehicle sirens don’t hurt dog’s ears, but rather tricks dogs into joining in on a howling jag. Another “fool the dog” sound.

* Air horn– Blast a yapping dog with a noise that is louder than its bark!

* Roars of bears, mountain lions, and other wildlife– The threating vocalizations of large predatory animals will frighten dogs into silence. King of the jungle Fido is not.

* Various irritating screeches– Too annoying to describe!

Tips

* Make dogs look bad by playing barking noises in the hallway of a pet-friendly hotel or apartment at ungodly hours.

* Use a portable speaker to amplify the sounds. I use an inexpensive ($6 -$10) “Bomb” keychain speaker. It’s more effective inside than outdoors, but I’m going to try to duct-tape a funnel or horn attachment to it for magnifiication.

* Two good free apps are “Werewolf Sounds” and “Dog Sounds”.

Excuses excuses

* At San Francisco’s once dignified Crissy Field (which now unfortunately contains a dog park) an off-leash pit bull attacks and bites an on-duty mounted park patrol horse, giving chase for over a mile and a half. The pit’s owner, his lawyer, and pit bull fanatics blame….the horse.

* A pair of Presa Canario dogs race down a hallway and lunge at Diane Whipple, savagely killing her by ripping out her windpipe. The owners blame…. her perfume. Or maybe she was having her period, they speculated. Oh, and she should have managed to get away from the dogs faster.

* A mastiff-ridgeback mix, awoken by the presence of a one year old boy, grabs the tot by the head and mauls him to death. The boy’s father, at first livid and calling for the dog’s destruction, changes his mind after a radical dog advocate group, The Lexus Project, apparently convinces him that the fault lies with……the one year old boy.

Are you mad yet? If so, here’s the e-mail address of one of these dog kooks, the owner of the horse-biting pit bull: Dvdgzzrll@msn.com

There are many many more incidents just like these. Some are minor, such as a dog owner blaming their dog’s nasty growling behavior on the recipient’s clothing. Or facial hair. Or the “threatening” purse or umbrella they are carrying. To these twisted dog cultists, dogs can do no wrong. EVER. There is no such thing as an unprovoked attack. Something MUST have given the dog a perfect, logical, totally understandable reason to attack, maul, snarl, lunge, or even to just bark its fool head off all day. Such idiocy should not be tolerated.

Disgusting Iams dog food commercial

Iams, a pet kibble company, has had some pretty barf-inducing ads over the years, all elevating dogs to lofty levels, but their latest TV spot veers into the bestiality zone. It shows a woman dressed in military fatigues, apparently just back from deployment somewhere. She is seen inside the house gushing over her huge Irish wolfhound (Russian wolfhound?), and walks outside, where she proceeds to lie flat on her back on the driveway, while the dog lowers itself on top of her, its legs splayed. The genital areas match up. Yes, it looks like this man-sized dog is having sex with her. No, my mind isn’t in the gutter; friends and family agree with me about the ad, they are grossed out by it as well. I’ll be writing Iams about this commercial. Their contact form is located at www.iams.com.

Dpethotels. The D is for Dummies

homeless childdog_in_hotel_bedWhat do Hollywood, California, Scottsdale, Arizona, and the Chelsea area of New York City have in common? The residents have more dollars than sense, at least when it comes to dogs, for these are the locations of the three Dpethotels, undoubtedly the most obscenely ridiculous dog pampering facilitiy to ever come down the pike.

The dogs-only “hotel” features high thread count bed linens, massages, body wraps, flat screen cable TV in each suite, chef-prepared meals, and chauffeur service using exotic cars, including a Bentley and Rolls Royce. All for dogs. All this while homeless people shuffle along the sidewalks outside. All this for a butt sniffing scavenger animal. While people in many parts of the world can barely make ends meet, dogs at Dpethotels are having their toenails painted a designer shade of pink. As children are abducted and found days later in pieces (as was the fate of a little girl in Colorado), pampered dogs are presented with Disney cartoons and plastic castle-themed kiddie slides in the 10,000 sq ft dog day care. There is no excuse for this degree of decadence for dogs. None.

And how does the media react to Dpethotels? With glowing, praising coverage. Journalists are all too happy to refer to the out of thei rminds dog owners as “pet parents”, and to gush about “a dog’s life” these days. Reviews on sites such as Yelp couldn’t be more raving. One couple enthused that they coul dhardly wait to pass their bar exam so they can afford to take their furry son there every day of the week.

How did this insanity happen? What would cause people to be so STUPID?? I have a ray of optimism however. You see, by the time a fad or trend has reached such a freakish level of absurdidty, it’s on it’s way out. It’s parodying itself now. The end is near.

Anti-dog books

Yes, there are anti-dog books! I own and have read all of the ones listed below. There may be other such books out there. A couple of these titles are meant pay homage to dogs and are intended for dog lovers, but they make dogs look bad nonetheless.

* Petishism- Pet cults of the Western world Kathleen Szasz

* The Dog Crisis, Iris Nowell (Man’s best friend? Think again.)

* No Dog Signs (photos of “no dogs allowed” signs from around the world)

* Is Pet Ownership Destroying the Lives of Americans? (Focus is on dogs), Carole Wade

* The Truth About Dogs Stephen Budiansky (author is a dog lover, but dog people hate this book)

* No Good Dogs, Ralph Steadman (Crudely drawn dog cartoons)

* Dogs Are Stupid, Bill Buckley (Meant for dog lovers, but dog haters will enjoy this photo book of dogs doing gross and stupid things, accompanied by funny text)

* Fluffy Humpy Poopy Puppy, a ruff dog-eared look at man’s best friend (quirky graphics and text mock dogs)

* The Truth About Dogs, Volker Kriegel (cartoon illustrations of dogs doing disgusting things)

* Animals Behaving Badly, Linda Lombardi (Great chapter on dogs. Written by a dog liker, but she knows the truth.).

Plus one more, whose title I forgot and which I gave away as a gift a few years ago. It’s a photo-shopped humor book showing cats taking sweet sweet revenge out on dogs, via shooting them, electrocuting them, squashing them with a steam roller, etc.!

Pet industry EXPOSED!

The pet industry itself confirms what we’ve all suspected. I got ahold of the trade magazine Pet Product News International, and there it was on page 4: “With marketers and retailers having worked long and hard to elevate pets to child-like status in order to help justify the sale of higer-priced products….”

There it is. A lie repeated often enough becomes the truth. The propaganda spewed by the pet industry has succeeded in turning otherwise sane people into besotted “pet parents” who feel guilty if their dog doesn’t have the latest fashions, the brightest teeth, the coziest bed, the best food and medicine, or the most sturdy baby
stroller. Dogs are the biggest money maker for pet retailers, so naturally dogs are the species most often elevated to child status by marketers. Society has fallen for this scam hook line and sinker! Not only have people been duped by the pack instincts of the domesticated wolf, but they’ve also been duped by pet industry propaganda. Double duped.

Hate me, love my dog?

With so many dog fanatics being misanthropes (haters of mankind), why do they love “man’s best friend”? Does it make sense to admire someone who is best friends with whom you hate? “The friend of my enemy is my friend” sure doesn’t make sense to ME. Misanthropic dog lovers should, in theory, DISLIKE an animal which toadies up to humanity.

Another irony: dog lovers constantly rave about how dogs are nonjudgmental, forgiving, loyal, and all that, while in the same breath slam humanity for being self-serving meanies. Well if we’re so rotten, why do dogs like us so much? I guess dogs are pretty darned stupid for wanting to lick our boots. Dogs like us for who we are, but most of their owners certainly don’t.

Of course, we in the know here at whyihatedogs realize what’s behind the dog’s “devotion”. Food. And modified pack instincts funnled via domestication and training. And neutering. And being leashed, fenced, kept indoors, or otherwise restrained to prevent the animal from oh, wandering off to cavort with it’s own kind, perhaps? Nabbed as 8 week old puppies and forced into close proximity with an alien species (us) who provides its only source of food and water, hardwired by selective breeding, and help captive by various obstacles, dogs have a serious case of Stockholm Syndrome. Apparently the irony of all this is lost on dog fans, who insist dogs love mankind unconditionally, even if the owners themselves hate us.

Would they want to be a dog?

One of the things that infuriates me about dogs is how much they are loved by others. There are a few other animals I loath, black widow spiders, for one, but have no inclination to seek “I hate black widow spider” sites. It’s the mindless ignorant fawning over dogs by their fans that adds fuel to my dog hate fire. “Yes, four legs are better than two.” “Anyone who really wants to live the good life these days has to grow a tail.” “My favorite child has four legs and fur”. “We can learn a lot from dogs”. “Dogs are smarter than most people.” “Dogs are angels sent from Heaven.” “Dogs give uncondtional love”. I just want to scream at these fools, “How can you read all that stuff into a butt-snffing, turd-eating, walnut brained, clueless, amoral, biting, barking, instinct driven pack animal, you self-flattering, delusional dog cultist??!

As I calm down, another approach might be better. A bluff call. If these people admire dogs so damn much, if they are envious of its wagging tail, its live for the moment mentality, its furry body, its “forgiving” and “loyal” nature, would they want to BE a dog? Would they want to sprout a tail, walk on all fours, have their cranium shrink, their tongue loll, their expression become dorky and glazed, their muzzle slobbering over anyone who balances a biscuit on their nose? Would they enjoy being neutered, leashed, goo-talked, and groped by every stranger that sees them? Would they like to stick their nose into every butt they encounter, and pee and poop in public? Would dying of old age at around 14 appeal to them? What about being illiterate and speechless? Next time a dog lover raves about dogs, ask them if they would like to become one. They can convert to Hinduism and pray they get reincarnated as a dog.

Subaru thinks dogs are people, too.

Automobile company Subaru is running a TV commerical promoting not only its cars, but also five different charities. One of the charities is animal related, and one of the actors in the ad is wearing a T-shirt which states “Dogs are people too”. For a major company to be endorsing this level of delusion, well it’s beyond the pale. Dogs are people too? Really? Do dogs buy Subarus? Do dogs donate to charities? Do dogs read or write or vote or invest or pay taxes or make any decisions whatsoever which affect the direction of a society? Have dogs created civilizations? Honestly, how high on dog farts does a person (or company) have to be in order to confuse dogs with human beings? A Google search of the phrase “dogs are people too” turns up delusions galore. Using this “logic”, are oranges apples too? Are giraffes lemmings too? Are pigeons gorillas too? Of all the stupid things that froth from the mouths of dog worshipers, “dogs are people too” is the most insane. These fools can’t seem to make up their mind. Sometimes they claim dogs are better than people, other times they say dogs ARE people. Never do they say dogs are less than people. Never.

No, your dog does not warrant a book.

“Boo”, dubbed the world’s cutest dog, has its own book, a waste of trees consisting of full page photos showing the dorky looking dog, a mutated pomeranian with bear-like ears, posing in sappy scenes. It’s hard not to notice the glut of dog photo books, dog care books and dog memoirs. The memoirs have become a publishing fad, with every Tom Dick and Harry thinking their dog is the bestest dog in the whole wide world, warranting a full blown tribute tome.

Ever since the mega-lame Marley and Me became a best
seller, dog books have been breeding out of control. Most of them feature a big photo of the dog’s head on the cover, with the name of the animal in the title, paired with a barf-inducing subtitle crediting the dog with teaching the author how to love, live, be a parent, deal with depression, or even ponder the universe itself. The authors learn all this from watching their mutt sniff rears, chew up sticks, and scarf down turds? At least two authors apparently learned the Meaning of Life from walking their dog, while several women authors describe their near-romantic relationships with dogs, prefering in theory to marry or date their dog rather than men. I’ve read quite a few dog memoirs, just for the barf-factor, and enjoy skipping to the end for the best part: when the dog dies. Rescuing Sprite, Walking Ollie, Merle’s Door, Huck, Wally, George….all blend together into a nauseating mix of dog worship crap, all spouting the same nonsense about dogs “being there for you”, “loving unconditionally”, “serving as a substitute child”, “more spiritually aware than humans”, blah blah blah.

And then there are the dog care books. Dozens of new ones published every week it seems. How much more can be written about housebreaking a puppy, or feeding old dogs?

However,there is a dog book that needs to be written. One that is anti-dog. The Truth About Dogs is as close as the idea gets, but the author claims to love dogs, so obviously the book doesn’t go far enough. No, it must be so thoroughly dog hating in tone, it will leave no doubt about why these coddled neurotic wolves don’t belong in society, let alone pampered and worshiped.

feral dogs

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It doesn't take dogs long to become feral. Those strong enough to survive without owners quickly revert to default mode, roaming in packs, scavenging, and breeding. In the six months since the March 11 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Japan, hundreds of former pet dogs are running loose in the no-entry zone around Fukushima, producing litters that ar

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even more feral than the original dogs. Officials worry the dogs will spread diseases to people. It just goes to show how artificial a pet dog is, especially a purebred. There are around 400 dog breeds in the world, every one of them maintained by selective breeding. These breeds would vanish after a single litter if left to their own devices. After several generations, there would be no recognizable dog breeds at all, the mutts would resemble typical “village dogs”: curs with yellowish fur and a black muzzle, or splotchy colored short-legged dogs. If left alone long enough, evolution turns them homogenous, such as the dingos in Australia. The dingo is certainly not the sort of dog most people would want to dress in sailor outfits or pamper with facials and gourmet cakes.

Some feral dogs are aggressive, forming menacing packs, while others are benign scavengers, with garbage dumps as their “natural habitat”. If all dogs were “default dogs” or “village dogs” it's doubtful they'd be popular pets, let alone regarded as fur-kids worthy of expensive medical care and such. yet these canines are much more of a REAL dog than say, a golden retriever is. When most people think of a “dog”, they think of a Platonic image, a popular purebred (or first generation mixed breed) fetching the paper and sleeping by the hearth. But this is a facade.

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Wildlife isn’t fooled by dogs

While many people are besotted fools for dogs, wildlife and other animals aren’t so easily duped. Dogs are routinely sprayed by skunks, stabbed by porcupines, bitten by rattlesnakes, squeezed by pythons, stomped by moose, pummeled by deer, carried off by eagles, attacked by raccoons, stung by bees, swatted by cats, kicked by horses, butted by goats, gored by wild boar, hissed at by swans, and eaten by alligators and catfish.

Yes, catfish! Giant catfish will scarf down small
dogs. The clueless owner throws a stick into a murky river, their small dog cluelessly swims in after it, and suddenly a huge gaping mouth emerges, and the dog is gone, along with the stick. I read about this hilarious scenario in Ideas and Discoveries, a science magazine. I know as a personal fact about a dog that was carried off by a bird of prey. This is no urban legend: A familty friend was walking her tiny chihuahua in the front yard when a large bird, (eagle or hawk) swooped down and carried it off.

Coyotes will kill dogs of all sizes. One memorable instance involved a dog running off leash ahead of its owner. The dog was equipped with a GPS device attached to the collar, so the owner could keep tabs on it. The whippet-type breed ran out of sight, but no worries, not with the GPS! When the owner caught up to her dog, several coyotes were hunched over its body. Hey, at least the GPS still worked!

The dog’s nose: so WHAT.

Dog lovers are obsessed with various dog body parts, namely the tail, paws, and nose. Boy do they rave about that nose; no dog book is complete without bowing down at the altar of the canine nose. A dog’s sense of smell is anywhere from 50 to 100,000 times more acute than ours, depending on which expert is consulted. I say, “So what?”

Moths and sharks have a better sense of smell than do dogs; in fact, most of a shark’s brain is devoted to the olfactory center. Sharks are efficient hunters, but not very bright. If a lot of brain space is devoted to sniffing, this doesn’t leave much room for thinking. A dog brain weighs about 3 1/2 ounces, a goodly portion of which is taken over by the olfactory center.

Left to their own devices, what do dogs do with their “better than human” sense of smell? They sniff out urine, poop, garbage, and butts. Only when mankind intervenes is the nose put to useful purposes. These purposes, drug detection, cadaver searches, etc. are mythologized by dog lovers, as if the dog is a super hero with special powers. In reality, the dogs can’t fathom why in the world they are sniffing around airports or rubble piles; to them it’s all just mindless sniffing for the handler’s reward of a treat or chew toy. Nor is the dog nose infallible; cadaver dogs mistake rotting tree stumps for decaying bodies. Certain sniffer dog evidence has been thrown out of court because the claims made about its abilities were just too outlandish.

A dog nose is cold, wet, and bear-like; pretty gross in my opinion. Yet dog fans think it’s cute. They will pay for a 24k gold impression of their dog’s nose print to wear it as jewelry!

A dog’s nose is basically overrated. The vast majority of dog noses aren’t out there looking for missing people or bombs, but rather sticking it in someone’s crotch.

Resources wasted on stray mutts in Brazil

The National Enquirer has an article about a haven for stray dogs in a small town in Brazil. These dogs are disgusting curs, as ugly as you can imagine, and the sanctuary they now inhabit is an eye sore, with swayback village dogs barking from within numerous shoddy dog houses. The roughly 2,000 dogs consume 14 tons of dog food a month, and $14,000 in donation funds, including money from the goverment! I cannot think of a bigger waste of resources than this.

Why kids are better than dogs

dog_in_hotel_bedhomeless childI’m sick of the slams against kids by dog lovers. You’ve likely seen their sarcastic jabs and warped logic in the form of bumper stickers and forwarded jokes. “Dogs are better than kids because dogs don’t talk back. Or borrow money. Or require college tution. Or play the stereo loud.” Their dogs are also smarter than your honor student. Several mainstream mail order catalogs offer pro-dog, anti-child (or anti-people) T-shirts: “My dog makes me happy. You, not so much.”, “My
favorite child has fur and four legs.” “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” Dogs are much more likely to be compared to children than are other types of pets, so naturally dogs will be the focus of my backlash. Now, I don’t have children myself, but I will defend them against dogs and their besotted fans every time. domain list . Thus:

1. Kids are the future of your country. Dogs are not.
2. Traditions and values can be passed down to kids.
3. Kids say “I love you” for real, unlike the farcical mutt vocalizations dog owners mistake for actual speech.
4. Kids can laugh at your jokes.
5. Kids grow up to become productive members of society; dogs grow up to be the same butt-scooting, turd-eating, mindless barking scavenger animal they always were.
6. Kids don’t regard the yard as a pooping zone.
7. Kids don’t mistake fire hydrants for trees.
8 Kids don’t bark at the mail carrier.
9. Kids can care for you in your elderlyyears.
10. Kids are our genetic legacy.
11.Kids have boundless imaginations.
12. You can play chess with kids.
13. Kids/people have the most complex brain in the known universe.
14. Kids go to college as students, dogs go as laboratory specimens.
15. WE WERE ALL KIDS ONCE!

As for dogs not doing the following annoying things, the money borrowing, the loud music playing, the back talking, well guess what? Dogs can’t fathom money at all. Dogs don’t know what a stereo IS. Dogs can’t talk, let alone question authority. To give dogs credit for not doing things they can’t even think about in the first place is junk logic at its worst. What about dogs being happier to see you than your spouse or children are? That’s nothing but mindless pack instinct. If you need a fawning groveling domesticated pack animal (selectively bred to exhibit these behaviors) in order to boost your esteem, something is wrong. Dogs are the path of least resistance. Cinybulk vojtech . Children challenge us. Challenge is a GOOD thing.
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Loyal graveyard dog a hoax

You may have heard of Greyfriar’s Bobby, a dog the mutt cultists love trot out to show the u dying loyalty of dogs. “Bobby” was said to have mourned the master’s passing so much, the dog refused to leave the guy’s grave for 15 years. Well, according to Time Magazine online www.time.com the whole thing was a hoax created to bring publicity and tourist money to this Scottish town. A statue of the dog was erected, and the mutt’s “loyalty” has been gushed about in numerous dog books. Even I fell for it. I figured the dog stuck around the grave due to the owner’s scent. Though there was a dog called Bobby, and the deceased master’s grave, the dog didn’t perform this feat of loyalty and in fact died and was replaced by a similar looking dog to dupe people it was loyal for 15 years.

To gripe or not to gripe

An e-mail friend who knows I hate dogs nonetheless included dogs in a report of sad personal events that have happened recently. He mentioned the deaths and funerals of several family members and old friends, and “to top it off, a friend put their old sick dog to sleep.” I replied with condolences regarding the deceased people, but added that his friend's dogs were too insignificant to have

mentioned. Did I do the right thing? Would you all have kept quiet?

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Dog airlifted out of forest

A dog was airlifted out of the Angeles Forest in California after it became too tired during a hike. The sheriff’s department summoned a helicopter to transport the dog tired mutt to safety. Can you believe this? What a waste of equipment and effort! The stupid dog apparently wasn’t all that tired, for it resisted going in to the helicopter, so it had to be strapped down to a gurney. Oh how funny it would have been if something went wrong and the dog slippped out, plummeting to the ground. No such luck.