Dpethotels. The D is for Dummies

homeless childdog_in_hotel_bedWhat do Hollywood, California, Scottsdale, Arizona, and the Chelsea area of New York City have in common? The residents have more dollars than sense, at least when it comes to dogs, for these are the locations of the three Dpethotels, undoubtedly the most obscenely ridiculous dog pampering facilitiy to ever come down the pike.

The dogs-only “hotel” features high thread count bed linens, massages, body wraps, flat screen cable TV in each suite, chef-prepared meals, and chauffeur service using exotic cars, including a Bentley and Rolls Royce. All for dogs. All this while homeless people shuffle along the sidewalks outside. All this for a butt sniffing scavenger animal. While people in many parts of the world can barely make ends meet, dogs at Dpethotels are having their toenails painted a designer shade of pink. As children are abducted and found days later in pieces (as was the fate of a little girl in Colorado), pampered dogs are presented with Disney cartoons and plastic castle-themed kiddie slides in the 10,000 sq ft dog day care. There is no excuse for this degree of decadence for dogs. None.

And how does the media react to Dpethotels? With glowing, praising coverage. Journalists are all too happy to refer to the out of thei rminds dog owners as “pet parents”, and to gush about “a dog’s life” these days. Reviews on sites such as Yelp couldn’t be more raving. One couple enthused that they coul dhardly wait to pass their bar exam so they can afford to take their furry son there every day of the week.

How did this insanity happen? What would cause people to be so STUPID?? I have a ray of optimism however. You see, by the time a fad or trend has reached such a freakish level of absurdidty, it’s on it’s way out. It’s parodying itself now. The end is near.