Apps to annoy dogs

Dogs annoy us, so why not annoy them? If you have an iPhone or other app-able mobile device, numerous sound files are available for download, many of which are free, and capable of bugging dogs:

* High Frequency– High-pitched tones and whistles to distract dogs.

* Thunder– Dogs are commonly freaked out by rumbling thunder and thunder claps. Crank up the volume and scare the heck out of an unsuspecting slobber-bag!

* Werewolf sound effects– wolf howls and growls as well as movie-type werewolf attack noises. Use to startle dogs (as well as their owners). Play after dark along a quiet neighborhood street!

* Canine barking and snarls– Intimidate dogs with recordings of their own menacing foes. Vicious guard dog barks and throaty growls ought to alarm coddled frou frou dogs.

* Doorbell chimes, ringing phone, squeak toy, etc.– Stimulus overload. Make fools out of stimulus response-addicted neurotic mutts!

* Police and ambulance sirens– Contrary to popular belief, vehicle sirens don’t hurt dog’s ears, but rather tricks dogs into joining in on a howling jag. Another “fool the dog” sound.

* Air horn– Blast a yapping dog with a noise that is louder than its bark!

* Roars of bears, mountain lions, and other wildlife– The threating vocalizations of large predatory animals will frighten dogs into silence. King of the jungle Fido is not.

* Various irritating screeches– Too annoying to describe!

Tips

* Make dogs look bad by playing barking noises in the hallway of a pet-friendly hotel or apartment at ungodly hours.

* Use a portable speaker to amplify the sounds. I use an inexpensive ($6 -$10) “Bomb” keychain speaker. It’s more effective inside than outdoors, but I’m going to try to duct-tape a funnel or horn attachment to it for magnifiication.

* Two good free apps are “Werewolf Sounds” and “Dog Sounds”.